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dog talking

Talking Dog
#1
A guy is driving around the back woods of MONTANA and he sees a sign
 in front of a broken-down shanty-style house: Talking Dog for Sale. He
 rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the
 backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking
 Labrador Retriever just sitting there.
 
 'You talk?' he asks.
 
 'Yep,' the Lab replies.
 
 After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says,
 'So, what's your story?'
 
 The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when
 I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the
 CIA In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country,
 sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured
 a dog would be eavesdropping
  
 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But
 the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting
 any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the
 airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious
 characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and
 was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies,
 and now I'm just retired.'
  
 The guy is amazed He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
  
 'Ten dollars,' the owner says.
  
 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
  
 'Because he's a Democrat and a liar. He never did any of that shit.
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#2
Haha!
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